It’s Official: The Green Lantern is into dudes…

There is a technique used in comic books I like to call “cover illusion”. Simply put, it is the method of implying (or flat out promising) grandiose events to occur within the pages, when nothing remotely like it actually occurs. A frequent example of this is when, on the cover of your favorite comic book, the main villain is standing on a beaten, or apparently  dead hero…or, Marvel’s habit of putting Wolverine on almost every series’ cover, whether he’s in the story or not. I was frequent a mark for a comic book cover illusion. Almost every week, I thought I’d actually be tuning in to find Venom finally ate Spider-Man’s brains, or Batman and Green Lantern beating the shit out of each other. Oft, I was severely disappointed…

Flash forward to this week, and DC’s most recent marketing “cover illusion”.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned here in these sacred halls that Marvel’s Northstar (Alpha Flight’s longtime gay captain) would be marrying his longtime boyfriend. Not to be outdone, DC then made the announcement that they would be outing a famous, formerly hetero characters. I believe the word they used was “iconic”…

 

…Is GREEN LANTERN iconic enough for you???? Founding Justice League member, and in my opinion, just as legendary as the big three, Green Lantern is as iconic as it gets when talking about DC. I mean, shit, they got Ryan Reynolds to play Hal in the movie, so…

 

…wait…not Hal?…So, Guy Gardner, that’s still pretty cool, I mean…

 

…not Guy Gardner?…Kyle Rayner? No?…John Stewart?…No?…huh…

 

The Green Lantern in question (Not that there’s anything WRONG with it…) is Allen Scott. That’s right, folks, someone you’ve probably never heard of is spearheading DC’s paradigm-shifting campaign on tolerance. Golden Age Green Lantern, who I might add, ONLY EXISTS ON EARTH 2 (which is the equivalent to Marvel’s Ultimate Universe). In other words, it changes nothing. Earth 2 has zero influence on the regularly scheduled DC Universe, and exists primarily as a “What If…” (patent pending) scenario. Which is fine…Except that it changes nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s even worse, is that DC (Prime) has a slew of characters that could be turned gay (HA!…The Republicans were RIGHT!), and not really fuck up the status quo, much.

I, myself, suggested Dick Grayson in an earlier blog. He’s iconic enough to cause a stir, removed enough from The Bat to not have to worry about ripple backlash from conservatives, and has been a gymnast since he was 8…It practically writes itself.

How about Green Arrow?…He’s (sort of) a JL member, his personal background is similar enough to Bruce Wayne to be related to Batman but never confused, and his last name is Queen…I mean, c’mon.

My point is, there are characters available in DC’s canon that would raise an eyebrow or two, and not really affect the world, but yet, somehow they decided to fart out with a guy who is fictional, even in the fictional world of Detective Comics…Way to drop the balls, DC.

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