CAUTION: ‘Cabin in the Woods’ will eat your face…

I’ll start by saying, if you haven’t seen ‘Cabin in the Woods’, yet, do. And also, stop reading this. This movie can ONLY be appreciated knowing NOTHING about it. To be honest, they gave away WAY too much in the previews alone, so I won’t even be including one in this post, as I usually do. So, go away…run to the theater…definitely [sarcasm]DON’T[/sarcasm] procure it by any less-than-legal means…Just, see it, and come back so we can talk about it..

 

 

 

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Are they gone?…

 

OK…How FUCKING awesome was CitW? It is so rare, these days, to find an original idea, but this is about as original as it gets. Of course, being penned by Joss Whedon never hurts, the guy did bring us Buffy/Angel, Firefly and Dollhouse. He seems to be a bottomless pit of original, but still…

This was impressive. Much darker than Whedon’s darkest stuff, but still full of Joss’s patented sense of humor, CitW was directed by Drew Goddard (who has ZERO directing creds before this, but was groomed closely with Whedon as a writer for Buffy and Angel. Its so nice to see someone who is so successful in Hollywood, as Joss, still take care of his/her friends (and not be Adam Sandler). The movie is littered with Whedonverse alum (besides Goddard), Fran Kranz, Tom Lenk, Amy Acker an now, Chris Hemsworth.

The movie starts as many a teen-slasher flick has in the past; ROADTRIP!…Scratch that, the movie actually starts in what appears to be the inside of a giant research facility. Think ‘The Hive’ from the Resident Evil movies. Its a small clip, just giving us clues to what will come, but I mention it so you know, they don’t fuck around getting started on this one…From before the opening roll, you’re immediately inside your brain going “OK…what the hell is going on here”…And, while, yes the trailers did give away a bit much, in my opinion, there is still way more going on than you think. But we will get into that.

Cut to, the obligatory “my cousin has a cabin” roadtrip, with the purposefully stereotypical group of young adults; the stoner, the whore, the meathead, the prude and the brain. Each, cookie cut right from hundreds of slasher films you’ve seen before. And where does their path lead them early on? A shitty old creepified gas station, complete with a redneck, hillbilly owner, warning them of their destination. Its almost formulaic…

It actually IS formulaic. And, when we begin to find out why, THAT’S when shit gets weird.

Let’s just say, that this group of teens didn’t accidentally happen across this particular Cabin in the Woods. They were chosen. The were placed. They were choreographed.

From then on, the movie is a non-stop feast of zombies, ghosts, monsters, werewolves, creepy little girls, giant snakes, huge bats, “hellraisers”, Japanese children…and a motherfucking MERMAN!…and, just about anything else that nightmares can be traced back to.

And, a nice coating of sci-fi.

 

And theology.

 

Let’s just say, if you haven’t seen this movie, it is safe to say that you have never seen anything like it. Plus, the last 15 minutes is about as totally f’n bananas as I have ever seen.

There is a socio-economic commentary buried in the story, somewhere, but its wasted on pure horrific/funny kick-assery.

I give this every available thumb up, and it may be my favorite movie of the summer, so far…And, that’s having seen The Avengers.

 

Get it however you can…

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